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Lived Experience: The thoughts had become too much for me to handle

Updated: Dec 12, 2023

It was my first semester in college as a Freshman. I had also taken a semester off to try and work on my mental health cause I had been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for the last two years, and had previously gotten out of a residential only about 6 months prior. I guess one night I had become so overwhelmed with being back in school cause I had been out of actual school for a while cause half my senior year was spent in a residential, and then COVID hit. At that time my roommate really did not know much about what I had been through so she had no idea how much I was struggling. That night my roommate was talking to the RA on duty, and I was alone in the room. The thoughts had become too much for me to handle.

The next thing I knew was I had done something to try and take my own life. At that moment I was like I need medical attention so I told the RA on duty. So i did get the medical attention I need, but was also sent back inpatient. That inpatient stay did not help me. So not even a full week after my discharge from the hospital I had another suicide attempt. From that attempt I would end up

in a hospital that I've never been to but they got me on medication that actually seemed to be working. Since that last attempt I've been working hard everyday in an IOP program while still attending school. And I've almost made it to the end of my first college semester.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS? Advice I have for others is do not be ashamed to ask for help. When things first started for me, one of my friends forced me to give my journal to my therapist, and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have gotten the help I needed. Even though sometimes when you ask for help you get an outcome you do not want, it is probably the safest option for you. They're not just making decisions out of nothing.

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